speechless....

wat to say

???

dono...

got nothing to say...

"tears & mood"

can express out my feeling now...

i'm started to hate

"L.O.V.E"

!!!!!!

plss....

no love again ok?!

=.=

i played 1 quiz yesterday bout my career result,

and my love result oly 40%...

so it means tat i got no fate in love

=.="

i dowan find another lover,

hate

"L.O.V.E"

!!!!

" L.O.V.E "

" L.O.V.E "

i dono how to describe bout

"love"

anyway i try to use these few phrase to describe it,

to emphasize it....

"love" is horror,

"love" is brutal,

"love" is blind,

"love" is irksome,

"love" is an ironic,

"love" is a curse,

"love" is fear,

"love" is a delusion,

"love" is fatal,

"love" is very frenzy,

"love" is so irritable,

"love" is just like a rivalry,

"love" is just like a war,

"love" make people go insane,

"love" make people remorse,

"love" make people became wrath,

"love" make people felt depressed & despair.....

anywhere...

it's hard for me to

" BELIEVE in LOVE"

anymore...

>.<

wont find another lover....

"LOVE"

is so suckSSS

!!!!

it's END

"24th July 2009"

it comes to

"THE END"

i'll remember this date...

finally...

finally u have expressed out ur feeling....

anyway it's great to heard that...

at least...

it's still early yet,

but...

i wan to apologize to u that...

i'm so sorry for wasting ur time,

u court me for up to 1year++.....

we almost get to the deeper level,

but it's too bad..

we can't continue it....

sry...

coz i can't "take care" of u,

really sorry...

u just nid a "care" by me,

but i cant provide it to u....

coz distance really hurt........

sry....

really sorry...

anywhere mayb tis's a arrangement by GOD,

i can't avoid it....

this's the fact,

i must accept it....

tat's it....

i cried the whole nite long,

it's so sad...

but i know this's a good decision...

you did a good job,

we really shud break now....

if not,

u'll be more hurt in the future...

anywhre...

just delete all my photo,

forget bout the past

&

concentrate in ur future....

anywhere...

really sorry for hurted u and wasted ur precious time...

i'm really "reluctant" to leave,

but after u choosed this way...

so i just accept....

i know that...

how much "redemption" i made oso cant hold u bek.....

bcoz of "distance"

i heard ppl said b4....

"if a truth love,they doesnt care bout distance"

"if we are meant to be,& we'll be together again"

but i'm truly understand ur meaning...

i dowan hurt u anymore....

anywhere just ignore my future,

this is my business and not ur business...

just take care of ur own stuff,

don waste ur life...

many guy who is...

better than me,

handsome than me,

cute than me,

got a sweet smile than me....

they are all waiting for u,

they can provide a 24hours "care" to u....

so just be with them....

before we end our conversation yesterday,

and i did said 1 thing...

"if we got chance/fate and we sure will meet up again to continue our LOVE"

but u reply with

"NO!!!!"

start from that moment,

my heart was 100% melt and break....

i cant even think tat u'll said that,

it means u really forget me,

and u are oled 100% lost feeling on me....

maybe..

"smoke" is the oly way can let me go through my future....

anywhere live ur life,

just keep it up ur life...

u can do it...

since u dowan "be with me" if got cance/fate....

so i wont care bout u anymore,and u don care bout me...

we got our own road to go...

since u have choosed this way,

and don felt regret...

i know u wont...

finally i know ur answer,

i got ur answer...

i know wat u thinking bout now,

i realised...

at last,

before i end it up....

i just wan to say,

THANKS for all the nice "memory"...

i'm happy with that..

yes...

i'm crying now...

but mayb tis's the last time i'll cry....

THANKS for given me every nice hope....

u have make up my life,

i felt so confidence to continue living in this world..

seriously....

"before meet you,

it's like i live in a hell which's full with darkness....

but after meet you,

u have cheer up my life....

my life was full wit hope and i'm started to have confidence in myself...."

"bcoz of you"

i got today...

THANKS so much....

i really hope that "i can be wit you"

honestly...

but i know u wont accept me anymore...

so watever,

yup..

i'm really stubborn,

it make my chips become more harder and stronger...

somethimes something that make me get deeper into it,

i'm really hard to give up,

just like the love between me & u....

i hope that everything can restart again,

coz i just wan to "be with you"

but i know u wont accept it...

so

"BYE my DEAR"

cheer up

!!!

u can do it

^^

"goodbye"

"THANKS" for the memory

&

"SORRY" for given u empty stuff

>.<

BYE....

" GOODBYE" ???

i lie down on my bed around 2am yesterday midnite,

but guess wat is the real time i got into my dream......

is around 6am like tis

=.=

y huh???

y like tis???

coz i keep thinking bout u,

i look at ur photo...

and my tears falling down

X.X

i know u oled at ur "home sweet home" now,

but u dowan open ur msn and send a message to me....

u dowan even open ur computer,

coz u dowan to see my face...

tis time u really very struggle to forget me,

ok...

good...

speechless...

yesterday i listen to FM radio station,

listened a few song is bout "love",

and the ending is "sad"...

is mostly all about

"GOODBYE"

=.=

i started to think our future,

and i pretty sure that tis year u bek m'sia is the "last meeting" between us...

i know...

i can't change the fact,

i must force to admit it....

watever....

just dono wat to say

>.<

i know how much the "redemption" i have did oso not enough to secure our "love"

anywhere...

just wait and see the arrangemen from

"GOD"

=.=

Can a heart that's been thoroughly wounded continue to love me???

i just want to say.....

i just want to say.....

" i miss you "

" i was so DAMN worry about you "

" I LOVE you "

these's all wat i want to say to "YOU"

.........

>.<

i treat u like an "angel",

but you treat me like a "stranger"???

y??

i know you oled reach canada,

but y you are so stubborn??

y u dowan send a messages and tell me you are safe now???

are you really want to treat me like this???

i getting stray & stray,

i lost direction...

i'm losing balance...

i'm constantly hovers,

coz i dono wat's ur situation now...

>.<

i'm speechless bcoz of ur attitude to me....

anywhere...

i'll still wait for ur message...

hope that ur situation is fine now,

cheer up

!!!

^^

The Realization

y wat u tot me yesterday keep appear in my mind???

y

???

"friend"

&

"we are both from different world"

Y

???

can give me the answer

???

i cannot cheat myself here again,

i must tell the truth...

i must express out my feeling now,

but don worry...

don worry...

i nvr cry

^^

i told myself b4,

try not to cry......

coz cry cant solve the problem...

last time is u the 1 who trying to court me,

but then now is contray...

change to me go and court u,

hahaha....

i just felt like u started to lose feeling on me oled,

i donolah...

i just simply guess....

but now...

i'm truly understand wat u mean,

i knew wat u wan now....

i knew tat u are a "good lover"

u are a "great girlfren"

u wont request much from ur bf...

wat u wan is only

"CARE"

yea...

is only

"CARE"

it's so easy...

i can provide a 100% "CARE" to u,

but too bad...

as u said b4,

we are both from "different world"...

so i can't provide a 24hours care to u....

tis's wat i have "realized & understood" why u said both of us better become a "friend"

finally i understood...

i won't "blame" u again...

i swear

^^

i swear....

i won't hurt u anymore.....

but still the same word from me,

if i got a chance..

i'l restart our relationship,

start from frens until a

"Great Couple"

^^

but too bad....

mayb u cant wait for a new relationship oled,

i dono....

i know u hope u can be with me forever too,

but distance really hurting us...

^^

anywhere try to think positive

&

mayb u shud slowly slowly quit...

i knew tat everytime u saw my picture,

ur tears will start to drop down...

don't do tis again,

my heart will pain

^^

so i swear i wont blame u again,

last time it's too many "misunderstood" between us....

but hey!!!

at least we still a fren rite???

hahaha

but can i request more from u???

"can we become a best friend"

??

hahaha...

but i pretty sure tat u know wat i wan from u,

but i know u can't accept...

is ok...

i understand

^^

mayb i shud disappear in ur mind,

so then u'll easily forget me and find a new LOVE....

hahaha...

now i realised,

"distance really hurt"

>.<

anywhere if u bek m'sia,

i hope we can have a great chat everyday,

mayb we can do some exercise together...

jogging,

flying kite...

i'm sorry

>.<

i can't stand for it anymore....

tis time my tears drop down ,

i was trying so hard to avoid my tears from dropping down...

but i only can stand for few days

=.=

wat a "poor guy"

=.=

"useless guy"

anywhere...

mayb tis time u bek m'sia is the "last time" u bek,

or

mayb it's ur last time to meet with me....

i dono,

honestly....

i just dowan it end up like this...

seriously men...

but distance really hurt...

anywhere...

sorry...

coz i can't provide a "CARE" to u,

sorry

>.<

actually got 1 thing keep stunting me in my mind now,

that's is...

if tis time u bek m'sia,

i really dono wan to meet wit u or not...

" IF MEET WIT YOU"

1) mayb our relationship will get deepper...(good)

2) but mayb it'll hurting u coz after u bek to canada,u sure wil vry reluctant to leave me...(bad)

3) when u bek canada tat time,u'll feel vry lonely coz i cant accompany u...(bad)

"IF DON'T WANT MEET WITH YOU"

1) mayb u'll feel very SAD,coz can't see me one last chance...(bad)

2) mayb u'll vry down when u bek to m'sia, but after u bek to canada u'll feel happy coz i started to disappear in ur heart...(good)

3) it's a bad decision, coz i nvr give u a good memory when u bek m'sia...(bad)

so how???

i really dono...

anywhere just let u choose,

i'll conform ur chosen,

i'll do watever u like

^^

but i vry worry bout u now...

u reach canada oled??

is oled 1 day...

u told me after 1 day and u'll be reached canada,

so pls send a message to me if u reach canada....

^^

SPEECHLESS~~

yes

!!!!!!

finally u replied my messages...

finally u have chatted wit me despite it's less than an hour,

but i'm totally felt great...

coz i miss YOU so much,

u told me,

u got no courage to chat wit me....

swt

=.=

y lah???

i won't eat u oso,

haahaha....

anywhere the "main thing" in our conversation justnow tat keep harassing me until now is "FRIEND"...

u said we just can become a "FRIEND",

i tot u love me so much...

aiksss....

i really dono wat u thinking,

wat u thinking is unpredictable.....

then u just told me both of us are "different world"

argh....

!!!!

i dono wat to say....

anywhere i'll still redeem & redeem coz i know i still remain in ur heart,

unless u oled forget who am i 1 day...

then i'll quit tat time

^^

anyway "friend" this word will not harass me for long term

^^

as i said b4,

think positive!!!!

hahaha...

i rather to treat everything as a

"new start"

i rather to restart our relationship rather than continue wit a halfway love

^^

but...

but......

"tis time i can feel that u really wan to quit oled"

"last time is u the 1 who wan me to quit coz u dowan me so suffer"

"but tis time i can feel that u wan to abandon me"

"but is oklah,just do watever u like"

agree???

i'll still support u

hahaha...

we promised to each other b4,

study hard

!!!

i have promised to u,

and

u don break your promise too

^^

i know u can do it

^^

say no to cry,

hahaha...

"Smile will Overcome Every Problems"

agree???

hahaha....

so just keep it up your life by

laughing...

and

laughing...

^^

oh yea...

remember reach Canada oled please send a message to me,

i'll wait for ur message

^^

CHEER UP

!!!

b4 i end my blog...

still remember this word

愛しています

???

u see!!!

i still remember!!!

hahahaha...

&

i know wat it means

^^