" GOODBYE" ???

i lie down on my bed around 2am yesterday midnite,

but guess wat is the real time i got into my dream......

is around 6am like tis

=.=

y huh???

y like tis???

coz i keep thinking bout u,

i look at ur photo...

and my tears falling down

X.X

i know u oled at ur "home sweet home" now,

but u dowan open ur msn and send a message to me....

u dowan even open ur computer,

coz u dowan to see my face...

tis time u really very struggle to forget me,

ok...

good...

speechless...

yesterday i listen to FM radio station,

listened a few song is bout "love",

and the ending is "sad"...

is mostly all about

"GOODBYE"

=.=

i started to think our future,

and i pretty sure that tis year u bek m'sia is the "last meeting" between us...

i know...

i can't change the fact,

i must force to admit it....

watever....

just dono wat to say

>.<

i know how much the "redemption" i have did oso not enough to secure our "love"

anywhere...

just wait and see the arrangemen from

"GOD"

=.=

Can a heart that's been thoroughly wounded continue to love me???

i just want to say.....

i just want to say.....

" i miss you "

" i was so DAMN worry about you "

" I LOVE you "

these's all wat i want to say to "YOU"

.........

>.<

i treat u like an "angel",

but you treat me like a "stranger"???

y??

i know you oled reach canada,

but y you are so stubborn??

y u dowan send a messages and tell me you are safe now???

are you really want to treat me like this???

i getting stray & stray,

i lost direction...

i'm losing balance...

i'm constantly hovers,

coz i dono wat's ur situation now...

>.<

i'm speechless bcoz of ur attitude to me....

anywhere...

i'll still wait for ur message...

hope that ur situation is fine now,

cheer up

!!!

^^

The Realization

y wat u tot me yesterday keep appear in my mind???

y

???

"friend"

&

"we are both from different world"

Y

???

can give me the answer

???

i cannot cheat myself here again,

i must tell the truth...

i must express out my feeling now,

but don worry...

don worry...

i nvr cry

^^

i told myself b4,

try not to cry......

coz cry cant solve the problem...

last time is u the 1 who trying to court me,

but then now is contray...

change to me go and court u,

hahaha....

i just felt like u started to lose feeling on me oled,

i donolah...

i just simply guess....

but now...

i'm truly understand wat u mean,

i knew wat u wan now....

i knew tat u are a "good lover"

u are a "great girlfren"

u wont request much from ur bf...

wat u wan is only

"CARE"

yea...

is only

"CARE"

it's so easy...

i can provide a 100% "CARE" to u,

but too bad...

as u said b4,

we are both from "different world"...

so i can't provide a 24hours care to u....

tis's wat i have "realized & understood" why u said both of us better become a "friend"

finally i understood...

i won't "blame" u again...

i swear

^^

i swear....

i won't hurt u anymore.....

but still the same word from me,

if i got a chance..

i'l restart our relationship,

start from frens until a

"Great Couple"

^^

but too bad....

mayb u cant wait for a new relationship oled,

i dono....

i know u hope u can be with me forever too,

but distance really hurting us...

^^

anywhere try to think positive

&

mayb u shud slowly slowly quit...

i knew tat everytime u saw my picture,

ur tears will start to drop down...

don't do tis again,

my heart will pain

^^

so i swear i wont blame u again,

last time it's too many "misunderstood" between us....

but hey!!!

at least we still a fren rite???

hahaha

but can i request more from u???

"can we become a best friend"

??

hahaha...

but i pretty sure tat u know wat i wan from u,

but i know u can't accept...

is ok...

i understand

^^

mayb i shud disappear in ur mind,

so then u'll easily forget me and find a new LOVE....

hahaha...

now i realised,

"distance really hurt"

>.<

anywhere if u bek m'sia,

i hope we can have a great chat everyday,

mayb we can do some exercise together...

jogging,

flying kite...

i'm sorry

>.<

i can't stand for it anymore....

tis time my tears drop down ,

i was trying so hard to avoid my tears from dropping down...

but i only can stand for few days

=.=

wat a "poor guy"

=.=

"useless guy"

anywhere...

mayb tis time u bek m'sia is the "last time" u bek,

or

mayb it's ur last time to meet with me....

i dono,

honestly....

i just dowan it end up like this...

seriously men...

but distance really hurt...

anywhere...

sorry...

coz i can't provide a "CARE" to u,

sorry

>.<

actually got 1 thing keep stunting me in my mind now,

that's is...

if tis time u bek m'sia,

i really dono wan to meet wit u or not...

" IF MEET WIT YOU"

1) mayb our relationship will get deepper...(good)

2) but mayb it'll hurting u coz after u bek to canada,u sure wil vry reluctant to leave me...(bad)

3) when u bek canada tat time,u'll feel vry lonely coz i cant accompany u...(bad)

"IF DON'T WANT MEET WITH YOU"

1) mayb u'll feel very SAD,coz can't see me one last chance...(bad)

2) mayb u'll vry down when u bek to m'sia, but after u bek to canada u'll feel happy coz i started to disappear in ur heart...(good)

3) it's a bad decision, coz i nvr give u a good memory when u bek m'sia...(bad)

so how???

i really dono...

anywhere just let u choose,

i'll conform ur chosen,

i'll do watever u like

^^

but i vry worry bout u now...

u reach canada oled??

is oled 1 day...

u told me after 1 day and u'll be reached canada,

so pls send a message to me if u reach canada....

^^

SPEECHLESS~~

yes

!!!!!!

finally u replied my messages...

finally u have chatted wit me despite it's less than an hour,

but i'm totally felt great...

coz i miss YOU so much,

u told me,

u got no courage to chat wit me....

swt

=.=

y lah???

i won't eat u oso,

haahaha....

anywhere the "main thing" in our conversation justnow tat keep harassing me until now is "FRIEND"...

u said we just can become a "FRIEND",

i tot u love me so much...

aiksss....

i really dono wat u thinking,

wat u thinking is unpredictable.....

then u just told me both of us are "different world"

argh....

!!!!

i dono wat to say....

anywhere i'll still redeem & redeem coz i know i still remain in ur heart,

unless u oled forget who am i 1 day...

then i'll quit tat time

^^

anyway "friend" this word will not harass me for long term

^^

as i said b4,

think positive!!!!

hahaha...

i rather to treat everything as a

"new start"

i rather to restart our relationship rather than continue wit a halfway love

^^

but...

but......

"tis time i can feel that u really wan to quit oled"

"last time is u the 1 who wan me to quit coz u dowan me so suffer"

"but tis time i can feel that u wan to abandon me"

"but is oklah,just do watever u like"

agree???

i'll still support u

hahaha...

we promised to each other b4,

study hard

!!!

i have promised to u,

and

u don break your promise too

^^

i know u can do it

^^

say no to cry,

hahaha...

"Smile will Overcome Every Problems"

agree???

hahaha....

so just keep it up your life by

laughing...

and

laughing...

^^

oh yea...

remember reach Canada oled please send a message to me,

i'll wait for ur message

^^

CHEER UP

!!!

b4 i end my blog...

still remember this word

愛しています

???

u see!!!

i still remember!!!

hahahaha...

&

i know wat it means

^^

i "NEED YOU" so badly!!!!!!

i "Need You" CLOUD

!!!!!

argh.....

argh........

i NEED YOU so badly lah!!!!

i'm so down,

i'm so moody,

seriously....

i'm so down & moody today!!!!

bcoz of my homework....

argh....

i wan to shout,

i wan to give up my homework,

i nid 1 who can really cheer me up now,

& i oly wan YOU to chat wit me....

yes...

is oly YOU,DEAR^^

i really wan u to chat wit me lah!!!!

pls......

when u oly wan to chat bek wit me???

when??

when????

tell me!!!!

argh.........

i going to MAD soon....

stress...

down......

moody......

T.T

homework....homework....

finally i can feel the intensit & toughness of it....

arghh....

but don worry i wont give up so easy^^

coz i know u always support me despite u never chat wit me,

i can feel it...

i can feel soul is surrounding me,

hahaha...

but seriously...

no joke,

no kidding here...

i really wan YOU to chat wit me,

seriously!!!

coz YOU are the only 1 who can really cheer me up

^^

i'll be patient...

hope YOU saw my blog,

i'll be waiting for YOU

"DEAR CLOUD CHAN"

^^

still "WAITING" for your reply.....^^

erm...

dear....

hahaha....

finally i dare to call u "DEAR" huh....

hahaha....

anywhere pls don misunderstood,

i dowan call u dear not bcoz i oled forget u....

the reason is i scare u "dislike"

>.<

sorry!!!

pls forgive me!!!!

hahaha....

don angry yea

^^

anywhere sry for not bloggings tis few days,

coz i kinda "busy"

&

got "stupid but dangerous VIRUS" have intruded my

"lovely laptop"

=.=

but don worry...

everything have been settle down,

everything is fine now

^^

so how are you recently huh?!

still dowan reply my messages??

but is ok....

i know u nid time^^

i'll wait for u^^

as i said b4,

think positive everything^^

but i know u are fine recently,

so it considers a "GREAT NEWS" to me^^

hahaha....

anywhere don worry....

YOU still "remain" in my heart!!

don guess or doubt too much......

i never forget you ok?!

listen here dear....

i nvr FORGET you!!!

NEVER EVER!!!!

ok?!

understood??!!!

hahaha...

i just wonder whether u still "remember me" or not

>.<

hahaha...

but i know i still "remain" in ur heart too!!!

izzit???

hahaha....

erm....

i know u always see my blog......

so i wan to remind u something here,

plss if u on9 & u saw me on9 at the same...

then come and find me inside msn....

coz i dono whether u got on9 or not,

u keep appears off9,

so it's kinda hard to c whether u got on9 or not....

so if u on9 pls send a nudge to me,

i'll wait for ur appear...

coz i got something important to discuss wit u,

really urgent^^

seriously!!!

"I GOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DISCUSS WITH YOU"

REALLY IMPORTANT,

thanks!!!

i'll wait for u!!!!

BYE

^^

new LIFE, new SOUL, new SPIRIT...but YOU still my "target"

yes!!!!
finally i can think positive rite now!!!!
hohoho....
anywhere got to thx all my frens who cheer me up!!!!
thx so much^^
i was struggling to think everything positive this few days,
and finally i success^^
but there's something i gonna explain here,
to "YOU"
" CLOUD "
yes....
finally i realize wat u mean,
and my mind now is everything positive^^
i started my new LIFE now....
but...
but........
it doesn't mean that i oled forget YOU,
there's no way to let me forget YOU^^
anywhere my "new life" just begins...
&
my "new target" is still....
YOU!!!!
yea...
is YOU!!!!
hahaha....
is YOU "CLOUD".....
no "doubt",
is still YOU^^
anywhere i stop to becomes a "crying baby" tis few days....
i think it vry carefully,
although u dowan me....
but i still gonna live my life.....
coz i know i still got chance,
since YOU still love me!!!
hahaha...
pls lah....
no cheat lah "CLOUD",
i know YOU still love me,
YOU miss me so much.......
YOU decided to leave me,
not bcoz YOU hate me....
not bcoz YOU no feeling in me anymore...
and of coz not bcoz YOU got a bf/new target....
all is bcoz YOU dowan me so suffer,
coz got to wait for YOU for few years until YOU done ur course in Canada....
at 1st,
i really misunderstood...
i tot YOU oled dowan me,
but actually is not.....
hahaha....
anywhere stop advice me to "FORGET YOU"
pls....
no reason for me to do tis^^
unless....
unless YOU found a bf,
tat's it....
YOU faster go & find a bf now lah,
haha....
then i'll really disappear in ur heart,
i'll totally forget YOU!!!!
hahaha.....
so...
i won't FORGET you!!!
&
i'll redeem it!!!
i know still got chance^^
anyway...
i vry happy coz tis time YOU go japan to relax,
and YOU nvr go clubbing huh?!
hahah....
it's great!!!
u really listen to me yea!!!!
if YOU don love me anymore,
y u dowan go clubbing?!
hahaha.....
luckily YOU still listen to me....
anywhere....
i got a new wish here,
i hope that after i done my diploma course & found a job....
and then.....
fly to Canada meet YOU^^
mayb after 2/3years(minimum)....
but must wait till i got a job 1st....
IF u still single lah,
IF u are in the relationship oled...
i wont go & disturb^^
i wish my dreams will comes true!!!!
seriously...
GOD...
PLS HELP ME!!!
last time my wish is to go USA & meet my idol"ALLEN IVERSON"-NBA player,
to get HIS signature....
but now...
i changed my mind^^
anywhere....
i hope YOU can be like me,
try to think everything positive^^
i know YOU can do it..
come on "CLOUD"!!!
YOU CAN DO IT!!!
but if YOU think tat "forget me" is the oly way for YOU to stay rite & think positive....
then YOU just forget me loh^^
is ok^^
i rather to sacrifice myself to let YOU happy everyday^^

" THINK POSITIVE "
!!!!!
" PEACE "
^^